Your Partner Needs You to Do These 6 Smart Things to Make Your Relationship Better There's a lot of relationship advice out there, but it all boils down to the fundamentals. Here they are.
By Baptiste Monnet Edited by Mark Klekas
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One of the biggest determining factors of happiness is the quality of the relationships of those closest to you.
Similar to all great things, it does take time and energy to cultivate good, strong relationships. In business, strong interpersonal skills will result in networking opportunities, customer satisfaction, successful negotiation and unmatched leadership.
In romantic or platonic relationships, one may foster deeper feelings of connection, authenticity, empathy, compassion and an overall sense of happiness. Here are six ways you can help create better relationships around you.
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1. Be responsive — especially during hard times
According to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, responsiveness is one of the key components to building a relationship where the other person feels understood, valued and validated. It is one of the determining factors in how long romantic relationships will last, how long employees will stay in a workplace and how loyal customers will stay to a business. Responsiveness is more than just being kind; it is a genuine demonstration of empathy in challenging or charged moments. To become more responsive, you must equip your communication toolkit with understanding, validation and care.
Also, there is a big difference between being responsive and reactive. While they both show, you are listening and are attentive, responding shows you can control your emotions and critical thinking skills.
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2. Practice active listening
A large part of being a good partner is being able to listen. In turn, listening will allow you to build authentic relationships where you have come to know the individual or you have come to understand their perspectives or goals. As Harvard Business Review discusses, most people operate from an internal listening standpoint. They focus on their thoughts and priorities while the other person is speaking, even without fully realizing as much.
Fortunately, it is possible to learn how to be an active listener. According to Boston University, it involves listening for both content and feelings within the speech of another. Jill Schiefelbein's book Dynamic Communication breaks down active listening skills into six parts:
- Check your ego to listen and prioritize positive outcomes.
- Stop formulating responses in your head while others speak.
- Acknowledge feelings, even if you don't agree.
- Show engagement nonverbally through gestures and eye contact.
- Admit when you didn't listen or ask for clarification.
- Use active listening for better understanding and improved outcomes.
Read More: 6 Strategies for Being a Better, Active Listener
3. Ask questions
Many people feel like asking questions causes them to appear uninformed when the opposite is true. Asking questions can bring greater clarity to a situation. In a business scenario, it can ensure that employees view others in authoritative positions as leaders, striving to understand the workforce and engaging with the work at hand.
Asking questions can also mean that others feel heard and understood, which is essential to building and maintaining a good relationship. By asking questions, you will let others know you care more about the situation and the person than your ego and opinions.
It's also a good way to repeat what the other person said to ensure you understood them clearly. It's not uncommon for a disagreement to start because the two parties have different understandings of shared terms or definitions. When in doubt, get clarity.
4. Building trust will always be ongoing
Apart from interpersonal communication skills, certain things must be consistently built over time between people, contributing to long-lasting partnerships. One of the most important factors is trust, created from credibility, reliability and intimacy
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In a business scenario, it may be easy to distinguish who is credible. A management leader who possesses the skills to organize, delegate and motivate their team efficiently will be trusted with those tasks. Naturally, they will also be more credible and trustworthy if they are reliable. Reliability is the ability to carry out tasks consistently. Likewise, reliability helps maintain trust between parties in romantic and familial relations.
Furthermore, intimacy refers to the understanding that trust needs to be earned over time.
5. Develop mutual respect
If there is a lack of respect between people, relationships can never be built or maintained on authentic foundations. The Harvard Business Review notes that a large portion of the workforce ranks respect as significantly important and impactful, yet simultaneously report feeling disrespected at work. Likewise, as Psychology Today theorizes, mutual respect may be even more crucial to a strong romantic relationship or friendship than love itself.
There are two types of respect: owed respect and earned respect. Owed respect is the belief that everyone is inherently valuable and therefore, deserves respect on that alone. Adopting the mindset that you naturally owe another respect is an excellent way to set up a solid foundation for a relationship. Additionally, it will allow for assumptions, stereotypes and judgments to be placed on the wayside. As a result, you open yourself up to experiencing and learning about different kinds of people.
And then earned respect is the belief that people deserve respect based on merit. It is important to provide recognition or reward when people meet or exceed expectations; a partnership can set the precedent that impressive work or care is recognized and appreciated. In general, a relationship should have a healthy dose of each type of respect and it should be tailored to the specific relationship.
6. Resolve conflict intelligently
Although conflict is generally regarded as a damaging or threatening factor to relationships, the important thing is how the disagreement is approached and resolved.
How a person reacts in a tense situation will show how they view the other individual and how they value their relationship. If you respond with active listening, understanding and a genuine willingness to move towards a compromise, the bond between you and another person will strengthen.
